Kapt Kaos

Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Mine was pretty interesting…

Opening Credits:
Sex On Wheels – Thrill Kill

Waking Up:
Turn Of The Sun – Yes

First Day At School:
Mambo (Dreaming of 4000 Take 1) – Electric Light Orchestra

Falling In Love:
Cirrus Minor – Pink Floyd

Fight Song:
Dreadful Selfish Crime – Robert Earl Keen Jr.

Breaking Up:
Mercy- OneRepublic

Prom night:
Battle Of Evermore – Jimmy Page & Robert Plant No Quarter: Page and Plant Unleaded

Life:
Brave and Crazy – Melissa Etheridge

Mental Breakdown:
Bent – Matchbox 20

Driving:
Tallyman – Jeff Beck

Flashback:
Be My Girl – Sally – The Police

Getting back together:
Of A Life – Journey

Wedding:
How – The Cranberries

Birth of Child:
Love Rustler – Delbert McClinton

Final Battle:
Going Back – Tracy Chapman

Funeral Song:
On Top of the World – John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers w/Eric Clapton

Final Credits:
Thinking About You – Trisha Yearwood

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.  As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.  As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.  I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.  So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.  I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.  My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.  The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.  As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.  I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.  I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote someone left on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.  So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.  Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don’t have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail….

Do me a favor.

Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember who I’ve sent it to.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles . The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax… OH, MY GOD!” Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”

A passenger in Coach yelled, “That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!